sabath

do u know why God created a day for all to rest. even for Himself? and it so interesting that it's on the 7th day, not on the 5th, not on the 10th but on the 7th.

recently i had been working for 8 days straight without an off. that's because i had exhasted my off and rest day together at a go. but working for 8 days in a row is plain tiring. i lose the energy and the interest in the work. by the 5th day i was almost like a robot trying to move along with the flow. lucky our work is not predictable, if not i would had slept on the job! on this very 8th day, i am grumpy, angry (with what or for what, i also don't know), slightly depress and low on my esteem and confident! *sigh* =(

however the good thing of working for a few days in a row is that i get to know my clients better and better follow up care for those long stayers. i know they meds at my fingertips. i know who is on what and when it is due, without needing to check the documents again and again to be sure. but that can be bad too... too overly confident.

BUT WHY AM I STILL SO PMS-ING?!?!?

i remember my ex-cell leader taught us once that there are different people that we will cross path in our life. there are those that will pump in energy into our life, those that will 'suck' our energy out of our life and there are those that we will have such great chemistry- whenever we are together, we will energise not just ourselves but those around us.

there are those fews that belong to the group 1 and 3 in my life. and i think if u r reading this i believe u belong to these 2 groups. =) and i am so deeply grateful for ur pressence in my life and for crossing my path. in 1 point or another i was/am greatly blessed by u. *sniff*

but sadly i am often pre-occupied by those in the 2nd group- the 'suckers'. they mere presence 'pressurise' me and sucks my energy, my joy and my will!!! it can be their words, their bahaviour and even their facial expression. and u won't believe!!! it can even be the distance they have with me! *faint* eg- if i am talking, i don't really like a person to look over my shoulder on what i was talking about. i also don't enjoy having the other person moving closer and closer to me (like as if pushing me away from my position). i don't like having to repeat my 'speech' 2x just because she/he did not catch my 'speech' cuz she/he was simply too engrossed in reading what i had written instead of listening to what i spoken. so these are the suckers. they suck my energy but having me to repeat myself (just because they didn't pay attention to me while i was telling them something or maybe they simply think very little of me and feel that they can't trust what i had said). they suck my energy by intruding into my personal space. and lastly they suck my energy by 'making' me trying to communicate, to be nice and be less judegmental on them. (I REALLY WONDER IF U CAN UNDERSTAND THE ABOVE! o_O??)

so in-conclusion... i wish i won't have to work/ be with suckers in my life. but life isn't all so smooth sailing... so if i really need to be with suckers, i pray that there are others there to buffer the situation! =(

i am not as noble as what Daddy in Heaven hopes for me to be. to love everyone, even my enemies. enemies are people whom we hate, right? so God detest us hating one another so He wish for us to love instead. although those suckers are not my enemies and i certainly don't hate them, i can't bring myself to love them either. in my safe little grey area, i am asking "can i not love them but i promise i won't hate them?" o_O??

ps- ms Tan if u r reading this. please please please agree on my request to switch shift with u! =_=||