eating disorder

just recently i blog-hopped onto a terminal staged anoreixa pt's blog (see previous entry). she is terminal cuz she had been anoreixa for 23 yrs-from 11yrs old! gosh! 11 yrs old!?! she is terminal cuz her GI system had failed, totally not working. it can't digest, can't absorb, can't move at all. her heart is of problem too. she is on TPN via PICC and stuff. her journey since the 'branding' of terminal since 2006 is all blogged on line-struggles she had, emotions she felt and all the rest

http://kellycountry2002.homestead.com/front.html.

before i can finish reading her blog, we admitted an anorexia pt. just when i thot fen and fang were bad enough. i realised i had not seen the worst! *tear* i am sad for the pt, her family (regardless how problematic it can be) and angry at the same time. xiao mei mei is only 16, she knows what is going on and smart enough to know that what the drips are for. but she doesn't see the harm she is getting into. her voice is so kido, her eyes are so pretty but... she pull out the plug and when i resited the pliug she plead with me not to up the drip. i asked her why, she can't answer just said she don't feel like it, she don't want. she was pleaing and crying. i felt my heart ached so much that i wanted to slap her and tell her why must she harm herself that way?! but i have no right to do that, even if i could she is such a darling that i can't bring myself to do it.

missing 1 yr of period(menses) and skinny to the bone-no fat, ok lar. but no muscle too! *sigh* she is so weak. her pulse is faint and thready, worst than our ex-DIL pts. so as i continue to 'research' more on the eat-disorder stuff online. i realised that these are 'norm' for such pt. was i jinx-ing myself with such pt cuz of what i mentioned in the previous blog?! *sigh*

i can imagine the following treatment for this xiao mei mei. continue iv drip, limbs restrained, eventually ngt on force feed til better and then transfer to the respective discipline. i too can imagine her crying and pleaing for the staff to let her of the hooks from the drip and tube feeding.

why?! why?! why do they harm themselves?! how makes them do such things? what's the trigger!? oh God....