transition

changes are good. its keeps me alert and helps me learn new things. but the time in between is terrible, almost a torture! leaving the familiar, stepping into the new. this is the time when i really need a listening ear, a friendly smile and a great laugh out session.

but for the 1st few days in my new work place, i dare not pour my woes to my friends. reason being? i chose the road i am walking in now. so if i complaint or share my worries, they will chill me by saying "see i told u so..."

am i stubborn not to listen to their advice? did i bring it upon myself? maybe i did and maybe i do deserve the chilling. pride is in the way!! yes, that is the problem that i have since day 1. so i internalised my destress; comforting myself that its a transition that i need to go through. i must have an open mind and not be dependent on others.

day 1...day 2...day 3.... each day i face new emotional stress. no instruction was given to me, nobody to welcome me the way i expect of it, not understanding this language makes me wonder if they are mocking at me. and i saw people that i dislike in the past. i was starting to wonder if it is possible to request to be transfere to the familiar PRCP ward. but i kept telling myself, its ok and its will be over soon.

today i felt good. i worked like a bloody junior and might not be truly appreciated, maybe at some point i was taken advantage of but i felt good. i felt like i was contributing. i have no problem with cleaning ass and changing diapers but please not say "its ok. u just see who needs help lar"

its the "thank you-s" and the smile and the look of comfort in the ahjima-s that makes my day. =) and we wonder why singapore govt had been telling us to be friendly and smile. cuz it really makes a different in ... maybe not ur own's but the recieving end-person's day.