returning back to the roots

i hated chinese as a subject since my primary school days.
i remembered those writting drills, of copying a few characters everyday.
then there were the spelling, oral and those boring lessons.

i was an active and chatty student.
i still remembered that was primary 1.
i was so desperate to get into a group of pretty girls (they all have 'hui' in their chinese name!)
they addressed each other as if they were sisters.
i like that feeling and plus most of them had long hair, to me that was something interesting.
during the chinese lesson, as we were all sitted on the dusky and dirty floor.
i was the only one making lots of noise.
L** lao shi called out my name.
i was punished and made to stand.

i really dislike this lao shi (teacher).
he was no kind and friendly teacher.
he was strict and in-human...no feeling whatsoever!

the final straw that breaks the camel back was that lesson....
as usual my only way of expressing my dislike to him and the subject was not doing my work.
L** lao shi called out my name and i knew i was in for another punishment.
i refused to stand up! a 7yr old rebelling against the power of authority!
L** lao shi was so angry that he came over and pull me up!
i saw him coming and i quickly hid under the desk.
fearing his power being undermined by a minor, he used his forceful hands and pulled me out.
scolded me infront of the class and i cried!
i could vaguely remembered him scolding me and comparing me to my very well-behaved sister.
i resent him and because of that i start rejecting everything chinese.

every right motivation, praise and smile can spur a child to strive to be the best.
the reservse will pull a child down.

after 20 yrs my passion for chinese seems to be ignited.
not am i proud that i am a chinese with a colourful and long history (way before the ang moh had theirs!)
i am also proud of the beautiful language we have.
the character bear so much meaning in itself and the elegance of the pharses.
wow... what a beauty.
maybe its late to rediscover my 'roots' but its never too late to love it. =)


*those that knows me knew that i love maths and science cuz the teachers were not only great, they were professional. they never incorporate personal judgement and moods into their teaching. although i don't remember their names anymore but i still want to give thanks for these teachers--thanks you!*