old photos

some of u might have known that i will be officially moved to tiong baru bu the end of this year. (if u r interested to come and help move things pls sms me! i will give u the full details of time, date and venue to meet =P) so i was packing stuff away into boxes. then i chanced upon some of my hubby's old photos.

hmm... how should i put it? ok, i will write this entry as 'me' as possible. i packed the photo albums and i saw lots of his old photos that had his ex-gf in it. different shots, some with the family members, some just the 2 of them, some with his old cell-members and friends and blah blah blah blah... did i get jealous? honestly, i did not. but i had a reality check. i realised that his ex-gf look very much like a person i know (which is 100% not her lar) and his ex-gf seems to have lots of very friends in church which are very prominent. in the photos she comes across as someone that is very outspoken, social-able, well-like and cutie sort.

in conclusion, she is not at all like me in any sense. something creep into my brain and i wonder, what did my hubby sees in me that attracted him? someone told me before that she heard from a guy friend saying that he actually like those high-flyer gals but because he isn't he had to settle for a more down to earth gal to marry. while maintaining his admiration for those high-flyer gals. so i started wondering, did my hubby choose me cuz i was an easy target and the most within reach gal available?! =(

then another tot popped in. should i tell him off and instruct him to throw every piece of the photo away? afterall i won't want to have to explain to my children who daddy was holding in those photos right? so crazy tots like these came like a wave tossing me up and down, in and out.

eventually i came to a conclusion. (see, that is the best part of me. i come to conclusion very fast one- good or bad, i also duno) so...

no. 1- i am uniquely created in the image of God so i dun have to be someone or anyone's "fit". so what if lots of people in church knows her? my Father in Heaven knows me and He knows me well too leh. haha... but most importantly a woman must be able to stand on her own 2 feet with or without a man- be comfortable and secure. people who compare or who think i am not as good or whatever can go *&*@# themselves. haha... who cares what they think right? as long as i am happy can liao lor... afterall i have my own friends too. (err... although not a lot lar but hor i still have my cute and lovely mummy and siblings!)

no. 2- he can do whatever he wants with the photos. it won't really bother me much. everyone must have a past to be where they are today. so its ok to keep the past, being able to accept the past helps us to be stronger and also more steady i think. haha... plus maybe 50 yrs later he might want to look for her, then with photos to idenitfy her will help a great deal, ya?! =P anyway, she had him for 10 yrs (just a figurative number) i have him for...ever.... hahahaha... *evil laughter* =P

oh and if the children ask me about the photos then i will tell them straight. hmm... maybe they will then ask me "then why didn't daddy marry her? maybe we might look prettier and maybe have to eat less greens" haha... what should i reply?? maybe... "shut up and eat ur greens! and by the way, u r grounded for the next 3 weeks. no games, no tv and no ice-cream!" haha... *evil grin*

apart from my fast to come up with conclusion/ solution, i think i have another plus plus point... that is i can laugh at almost anything. hmm... a great improvement for my de-egoistic program?! haha...